Because I am planting flowers

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I came across a comic recently that helped me to look ahead to 2019 with some hope and more joy. 2018 was an incredibly hard year for me personally—incredibly hard—- and finding joy is something I have struggled with since losing my son in 2014. The current state of the politics in our country and the lack of compassion from people can leave a person feeling very defeated. I am an empathic person anyway so I tend to feel more than most and then take on more suffering than I should. I have turned off much of the news. I have backed away a LOT from social media and am trying to focus on taking better care of myself and, while that feels selfish, I also feel that I can only give myself what I need, as those around me seem to be doing that for themselves. 

Meditation has been a large part of my life since losing my son. It has helped to wake me up in ways that I had no idea. I can now look at my emotions and watch them flow through my body. That isn’t to say that I can’t still feel them and experience extreme hurt. I do. But I am learning the importance of being alone. Of going inward. Of silence. Of looking at how the selfish behavior of those around me affects how I respond. The importance of taking care of myself. The importance of letting go of expectations from others, to understand my empathic nature, and to realize I need to give myself the love and care that I can’t get from others. The realization that I AM alone and that the things I thought I had, that were precious to me, were NOT really there at all. That it is all an illusion. That the definition of some words are different to me than they are to those closest to me. But the hardest part is that I can’t change the definitions that others have in their heads even when they don’t match my own definitions. And I have let go of ANY communication to this effect as I have learned that it doesn’t do any good. Sometimes it hurts worse to hold ON than it does to let go. 

Soooooooo, I am going to take care of my own garden and am going to plant flowers. It is that time of year you know, when the seed catalogs are coming in and you dream of growing more color in the yard. Of the changes of the season going into the cold part of the year as well as the anniversary of John’s stupid death and knowing that there will be warmer days ahead. 

I have always wanted a greenhouse so that I can start the flowers for my garden. I have had a makeshift greenhouse for many years. The years that my emotions were healthy I have made the effort and started flats of seeds in there and filled my yard with zinnias and marigolds and vegetables that have produced enough to share with friends and neighbors. So, this year, I found a cheap greenhouse from Harbor Freight for $299. With a coupon, I spent $250 on it. There are tons of YouTube videos about how to beef up this little guy so that it will withstand the elements better. I have been watching those and today will go out and start cutting the lumber for the foundation. 

I’ve already ordered some seeds. My usual greens and vegetables and adding some new strawberries, because the bed I have has not been producing much the past few years. And this morning I ordered flowers. Yay!

seeds

Here are a few photos and I’ll post more as it progresses.

I cleared the concrete slab area of all the junk we had on it and filled in the concrete gaps that were on the slab with some quickcrete. I then took an old tent side and drew the dimensions of the greenhouse on it so that I could lay it down and get an idea of the positioning of the house. 

Got my work shoes on and gloves and it is supposed to get to 60 degrees today and by the weekend snow….Let’s see how much I can build today!

Now Appearing….seedlings!

I have baby seedlings in my seed flats in the makeshift greenhouse. I wanted to share the little guys with you.

Since I built the greenhouse, we have had windy days with 50 MPH winds and aside from having to push the staples back into the ground and run a strip of duct tape in a few places, it has survived. I know, I’m amazed too.

Then we had a downpour and the mud to get to it was pretty bad so I moved some of the stepping stones from my garden areas to give me some safe places to step.

stepping stones

The seeds that are making their debut are tomatoes, basil, cucumbers, alyssum, calendula, green tassel amaranth, foxgloves, primrose, cleome & zinnias. I have some seeds that need to be direct seeding into the garden because they don’t transplant well. And it won’t be long before I can put the peas out so that we can have a few fresh peas in the spring.

We have had several really pretty days that have allowed me to work on my flower beds to get them ready for the new plants. And a couple of days the temperatures inside the greenhouse have been well over 100 degrees so I have to be careful that I allow some air flow into it to keep it from cooking my new little seedlings. So far, they are loving the heat and show no signs of wilting, but I am keeping a watchful eye on them.

I have purchased some larger compostable pots to transplant the seedlings into once they reach the stage where they need a bigger space. I have tried to avoid plastic pots. While they are recyclable, I would prefer using something that I can just plant into the ground to avoid the plant having the shock of transplanting.

Foxgloves

So far everyone is happy and hoping that the wind doesn’t return. We just started March though and it is the windy month so we’ll see how the little plastic covered house holds up.

My Makeshift Greenhouse

Spring is just around the corner and I always get excited about starting my plants. Sometimes too soon. A couple of years ago I had built a bean arbor from some rebar and cattle fence and it was really handy to grow beans on because you could just walk under the arbor and pick the beans and not have to deal so much with the vines. Last fall, as I was building my cold frames, and needed some shade to work up my compost for the boxes, I used my boys’ old trampoline as a shade structure under that same arbor. That got me thinking that I could enclose the arbor and use it to start seeds in a makeshift greenhouse. A few online purchases later from greenhouse suppliers, I have a small greenhouse that I have started my spring flowers and tomatoes. Here is how I did it…

First, I moved the arbor to the location that we have tried unsuccessfully to grow potatoes  and moved a table I had built to work on inside the frame. Perfect fit.

arbor with table inside

Then, I had the idea to sew the plastic to create a tent to cover the arbor. This idea was eventually scrapped due to 50 mph winds that decided to use the seams as perforations and take the tent off the frame.

attempting to sew the cover

After having a frustrating start, I started over, this time without the wind and a roll of duct tape. Much better. I used binder clips to clip the plastic to the frame to fit the frame like a dressmaker and cut from there. Better fit and held in place.

white duct tape

I am lucky enough to have an electrical outlet close by that is in a flexible conduit and it fits into one corner so that I could purchase a small greenhouse heater to keep the temperature consistent as the spring gets closer. The heater has a thermostat and a tip safety feature so that it is a very safe little guy and blows a quiet stream of warm air into the little room. I had an old door that fit perfectly onto the bottom shelf of the table so that I can keep the heater up off the ground and in a protected space.

power

Once every thing was in place I could start the seeds. Today I started zinnias, calendulas, basil, amaranth, false queen annes lace, tomatoes, and cucumbers. Now it is a waiting game to see if the wind allows it to stay put and the seeds to emerge.

Dayton Convection Heater

My sources for supplies were Charley’s Green House and Johnny’s Seeds. I spent roughly $250 for all the supplies and now have a place to start seeds for a few years to come.